25 ways to tell if you are a true Kuchingite
2. You eat out 7 days a week, three times a day, excluding tea and coffee breaks of course.
3. You have at least 150 friends or relative who operate coffee shops and food courts. As for stall hawkers, you lost count.
4. You have at least 5 favourtie laksa stalls, 7 kolo mee, 2 kueh chap stalls and ONE beef noodle stall, ie Ah Mui mee sapi, at the Open Air Market.
5. You go nuts if you don’t get your fix of kolo mee or laksa at least five times a week.
6. You think nothing of driving 10 miles in heavy traffic out to check out a new food court, but pull a long face when your wife ask to to buy baby milk powder at the neighbourhood sundry store.
7.You fill up your suitcase with your children’s favourite instant noodle when visiting them overseas.
8.You also pack so much belacan that a nyonya would cry with joy on seeing them.
9. You request the waiter for plastic bag to “ta pau” your unfinished food in a restaurant, even if it is a half eaten “sio bee”.
10.When it comes to tipping in posh restaurant, you say, “er….sorry…what tipping?” or ” here got tipping meh?”
11. While waiting for your change at the payment counter and excavating your teeth with the toothpick, you casually ask the cashier how much is the rental per month of this restaurant.
13. Your knowledge of the Foochow dialect is limited to: “karliu, karliu” and “chin ku long mor kang ngieng oh” (means “play, play” and “long time no see”) and you just love to show off by parrotting them whenever you greet your Foochow friends.
14. You do your major grocery shopping only on Friday and Saturday, the price-war-day between the supermarkets. You study the newspaper advertisement first then plan the supermarket hopping itinerary based on the cheapest items on offer at each store.
15. You get your mother-in-law, your father-in-law to tag along to buy Compact toilet rolls and Dynamo (super duper cheap but limited to two packets/bottles per person), then buy them lunch/dinner at HongKong Noodle House.
16. You balk and rant at the cashier at the petrol station because she told you she ran out of contest forms you are entitled to for filling up there.
17. You tell her you’d come back for it the next day, and you actually do so, even though its a 10-mile detour.
18. You think nothing of camping outside the entrance of the about-to-open shopping malls for their opening ceremony, even though it is a six-hour wait.
19. You bring your whole family to the airport 5 hours before the plane arrives to pick up a family member, just to enjoy the aircon. The kids just love running around on the smooth floor and wide space, and you don’t even have to change your clothes, ie you wear your pyjama and flip flops, or singlet with floral designed cotton shorts.
21. When you double park, it is okay. But when other people do so, you curse and swear.
22. Your Kancil always take up two parking spaces, that is alright because you are just parking for 5 hours only not the whole day.
23. You give “Premier” brand tissue paper free advertsing by displaying the tissue box on your rear window. (Only Premier brand)
24. You display the dolls of the Forteen Dwarfs (two sets) on your Kancil’s rear window, together with several cushions and a hanging Garfield, two spiderman, and several species of orangutans and perhaps a koala bear too. And oh, a bumper sticker too (See below).
25. You put up Kuching’s best selling (perhaps the only) car bumper sticker “Baby on Board”. (Bumper stickers I’d like to see “NO baby on board, and proud of it” or “Hot babe on board”)
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